For the last few days, my brain has felt like a ping pong ball. The thoughts I’ve been thinking are the paddles smashing it back and forth over the net. It’s been a never ending rally between either side, like the kind you watch during volleyball or tennis, where after some time, you just hope that one side lets the ball drop, or shoots it out of bounds so your brain can just get some rest from trying to follow along. 

This endless stream of thoughts center around what happened this past Saturday. I raced the Lifetime Minneapolis Triathlon and I didn’t finish. If you search for my name on the results online, you will see a big fat DNF emblazoned right below my name. For all those people who say that not finishing is better than not starting at all, I can’t be quite so sure.

But gosh, this is sure getting somber isn’t it? That wasn’t my intent. This is athletics after all. AMATEUR athletics at that. Where I pay to participate. There are no championship medals on the line, teammates waiting in the wings with the fates of their futures relying on my ability to perform, paychecks to be cashed. My own brother and sister didn’t even know I was competing. So why make it a big deal?

Because I care. Because I pride myself on racing with strength, grace and integrity—for  finishing what I start. I did do most of those things on Saturday, but in the end, results matter, and you kinda have to finish in order to get a result. 

I’ve got a slew of ideas as to what led to my eventual outcome, but those possible scenarios I created are just ridiculous stories I don’t have extra energy to keep entertaining. So I’ve come up with something super simple—I had an off day. Why is that so hard to admit? Because I EXPECT to be ready, and to have my body answer to the pleads my mind gives to it.   

That day wasn’t the day. And forgive the corny rhyming that’s about to happen…but that’s totally okay!

I’m back to training. I’m back to smiling—because that’s something I definitely didn’t do enough of on Saturday. One last thing…and maybe this is more for me, than for you, but make sure you smile when things get tough. Heck, do it all the time. You need to sneeze? Smile. You’re stuck in traffic? Smile. Your legs feel like dead weight 2 miles into a 25 mile bike and you still gotta run after? Smile. It’s so much easier to do than frown.