I fully intended to write weekly in my lead up to Kona. And then well, I kind of just, didn't. As my training ramped, my creativity and motivation to do anything more than swim/bike/run/work/sleep/eat nose dived to a total zero. I am a completely competent human being, but you know, sometimes you just gotta google map yourself to work (a route you take 359 days a year) because you're on empty, your boyfriend took the last nespresso pod, and because you just wrecked yourself biking 118 miles the day before. 

You want an update? Well I want bore you with the nuances of triathlon training, but one thing I have been working on lately is developing my emotional control. You ever stop to think about how often your mood changes over the course of a day? Like the feeling you have mid-morning when you've hit that caffeine just right, or that weird mid-afternoon "post-lunch/too close to bedtime to have coffee" time-frame? Imagine those fluctuations and then throwing an Ironman Triathlon in there. Those highs and lows just can't happen if I plan to have the kind of result I'm hopeful for come race day. 

When I think back to a time when I did have the most reign on my emotions, I think back to college and what my cross country coach always used to tell me before big races. "Be stoic. Have a poker face. Keep your composure. Don't, for one second, show you're not in total control!" In other words--BE. EMOTIONLESS. Sounds harsh, but it worked. And as an 18 year old girl, that was easy. I had little to no life experience, and basically no hormones, to make me believe any different. 

As time has gone on, and I got a period (**late bloomer I know), a real job, and a monthly withdrawal from my checking account reminding me I have 40 years left of paying off my school loans, my emotions have become a bit harder to shut off on demand. I no longer have the distraction less lifestyle a college athlete can oftentimes lead (because let's be honest...anyone playing college sports is likely putting their sport first and foremost the majority of the time).  Whereas before, I could put all my energy into a workout and whatever else was left into my studies--I now have other "life" demands that sometimes make the stress mount so great, I feel like I am drowning--and thus impacting my ability to stay calm, unaffected, and totally in control. But that very feeling (the feeling of NOT being in control) has actually been the thing that has helped me grow. 

So what have I been doing? Well first and foremost, I recognize it (it being the stress), and then second, I give only the things I can control, a little bit of weight. 

I am ripping this off one of my buddy's blog--(Paige S--who absolutely crushed Ironman Mont Tremblant last month) but she talked about things she can control versus things she can't. And I loved that. It's like once you write it down and categorize it, it's easier to manage. 

I'll leave you with my list of controllables versus non-controllables. 

Controllables: My attitude (this is key to controlling everything else). The amount of sleep, quality food and hydration I get. Executing my workouts and focusing on the recovery practices I need to do to execute the next day.  

Uncontrollables (as it relates to race day--OCTOBER 12TH!!!): Where I will be at in my hormonal cycle, what the weather will bring (will it be extra hot and humid and windy that day, or fairly calm like last year?!) 

Oh my gosh. I didn't realize how little I actually "can't control." That's kinda neat. And actually pretty stress-relieving.