I didn’t expect to love racing in Kona. In fact, I prepared to hate it (or at least parts of it). I anticipated feelings of dread, doom or even death wash over me like a tidal wave at various points over the 140.6 mile distance, but you know what? They never came. 

Isn’t that interesting how that works? Perception of effort has always been so mysterious to me. There have been races that, on paper, have been equally demanding, but for whatever reason, I had been on top of my suffering in one, and completely overwhelmed by it in another. With time though, I’ve learned it’s usually my thoughts about how hard a race will be that drives how well my brain will cope. Instead of hoping a race won’t be one of those grinding affairs, I brace myself, expecting the hurt to come and welcoming it when it does. “Can it hurt more....?” Oh I’m sure it can.

Ever since watching Sean race Kona in 2016, and then tuning in to the live broadcast on TV the 2 years after that, I developed some ideas about what I would endure. When I stepped off the plane in Kona to a blast of hot air to the face like the feeling you get when you pop the oven door to check on your pizza, I felt relieved. The heat felt like a huge hug—a promise delivered, rather than a bad dream come true.

Race morning arrived fast and furious—my nerves did not. I sent up silent prayers to God thanking him for that. A calm mind makes better decisions. 

Conch shell blows and we’re off. (I was promised this day would fly...it did). 

Swim: 1:05 and change. The swim was both uneventful and not particularly fast. Both of which I was okay with. My goggles were knocked off once, and I fielded a few punches to the head and arm, but to get out of the water relatively unscathed, with only a slight burning in the throat from the salt, felt like a win.

Bike: 5:11. The first 30 miles of the bike worried me. Swells from the swim had thrown off my balance leaving me dizzy and nauseous. I kept telling myself that focusing only on the fact that I felt this way surely wasn’t going to change anything, so I shifted my thoughts elsewhere. By the time I reached the turnaround point in Hawi (60 miles in), I started to regain the strength and the power I had lost in the first half. The 50 miles back into Kona were “fun”, as I began picking off people one by one. Aid stations at every 7-mile mark were handing out 20-ounce bottles of Coke so I grabbed one at a few, filling my front hydration system to allow for it to go flat and therefore, be easier to drink. This pop strategy formulated a few days prior to race day when I decided to skip stopping in Hawi to grab extra aid from special needs, and knowing from races past that Coke makes me feel like a freaking rockstar. 

Run: 3:32. The plan was to hold 8-minute miles the first 90 minutes and then depending on how I felt from there, pick up the pace. When I saw Sean at 8 miles in, who had been texting with my coach during the race, he told me to drop down to 7:30-7:45min/mile. Even though I was feeling good, I decided not to. I was worried that if I sped up so early on, I would get to 18 miles and totally implode. Instead, I clipped along—steady and sure. When I approached Palani (the downhill back into town), and with only about a mile remaining, I saw Sean. And that’s when the goosebumps it. It’s so hard to know what to say to people this far in an endurance event. “Keep going”? Obvious. But he did great and basically just said I am the most beautiful and perfect girl in the world....I made that up. He didn’t say that. I don’t know what he said but seeing him was enough. 

When I crossed the line, I put my face in my hands. 

9:55. 13th overall female amateur. 2nd American. A 13 min PR from my 1st IRONMAN. 

Tears came—but I knew they would. The emotion? I haven’t been able to pinpoint. Relief? Fulfillment? Joy? Pride? What in the actual heck was that? All of it. And then some. 

All I know is that I’ve already dreamt of returning. The whole experience was so magical, and the second-best one I’ve had in my life. The first best experience of my life came two days later when my boyfriend, Sean, of 5 years, proposed. 

Gosh I’m so pumped I live this life. And so incredibly grateful to so many who made this experience so perfect for me. 

• To Fitspace—you’ve championed me from day one. I can’t thank you enough for investing in me and supporting me always. 
• To my parents—for making the trip for me and not having a meltdown when they had to pay $1000 to get their car from the pound after it was towed on race day. Also thank you for not spoiling Sean’s engagement surprise. I love you so much. 
• To Sean’s parents—you’ve treated me like your own from day one. I’m so lucky I get to be the one to marry your son. 
• To Jake and Kelley—I love you guys. The pics, the support, for being there with me. Crap I’m crying again. 
• To Now Bikes—wizards. All of y’all. Thanks for keeping me dialed. 
• Twin Cities Running Company—my Hokas are the bomb. Best shoe ever made. And you make it fun to shop for shoes! 
• Sean—I never want to think about what I’d do without you. Soulmates do exist. You’re mine forever in a trillion lifetimes. 

Next up? Lots of fat biking over the winter with (fingers crossed) a couple Ironman’s in 2020. And a wedding ;)